In another post, I was talking about how I thought it was funny that men always try to get with lesbian women. Tonight, I realized that, at least in the case of this specific bar, it's sort of our fault.
The three of us were sitting at the bar, and at the other end was another lesbian couple who I am acquainted with. Next to them are two men who I assume are friends. These women are all over the men. Not like touching and kissing them or anything, but flirting with them like it's going out of style and accepting drink after drink from them. I've seen this type of hustle before. As far as I know, they are doing it for the free drinks. When the men start to realize they aren't getting anything out of their investment, the drinks stop coming. But the women didn't let this fly for long. Eventually they did start touching the men, like rubbing their legs and little innocent touching of the arm. On top of that, the women started touching and kissing each other. I assume they did this to get the men reinterested and make them think they are going to get something out of this.If I was either of those men, I would be thinking the same thing: I'm going to bed with these girls. But I know these girls. Neither have been with a man in close to 15 years (they are a little older than I am). I can no longer blame the men for trying when we (not me specifically) are sending such mixed signals.
I wanted to say something to these girls, but I didn't. Taylor and Erica actually talked me out of it. To be honest, it pissed me off. I feel like that sort of thing is the reason why I have to deal with the propositions from courageous men on almost a daily basis. I have nothing against men trying, but I would prefer to enjoy my night with Taylor and my friends in peace.
Another thing. I hate the word "dyke." Most of you may know that it used to be an insulting word, but it was "re-claimed" by lesbians a few decades ago. I don't care. I still find it highly offensive, and if a man or woman calls me one, I'm going to let them know just how offensive I find it.
The reason I bring this up is because Taylor and I were called dykes tonight. (This is starting to become quite common. A few nights ago, my neighbor who got arrested called us dykes, too). It wasn't directly to our face, but this other group of men who came and sat down at the bar a little later in the night were talking about us. One of them is a regular who I recognize, and he also knows Taylor and I. He was talking to his friends, not trying to be very discrete about what he was saying, and says...
"You see those two over there? (points to Taylor and I) They're dykes."
I wanted to get up and punch him in the face. I know he didn't mean to be offensive by it, but still, I hate the word. Call me anything but that. To me, it's such an ugly word, and there is a reason it was considered offensive so long ago. Same with the N-word (I refuse to type it or say it). No matter how much African Americans say they are okay with using it, I think they need to step away from it. They've come such a long way in this country, and to hold on to such a dark piece of their past is beyond me. I don't think it "holds them back," but this is a new age and they should embrace it and move on. I won't go any further in to that.
If I lived in the 60's and 70's, I would have done everything I can to take part in the women's movement, the sexual revolution, and the gay/lesbian revolution. Now, I don't like to be associated with it. I am all for better rights for us, but after seeing the display by those two women at the bar, it makes me wonder if I really should get behind it. What they were doing just looked so bad. And the word "dyke." I am not proud of that word, a word that has been embraced by part of the community. I want nothing to do with either of those. I might be acting a little over-dramatic, but it's just how I feel.
<3 Sarah <3
4 french kisses:.