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Friday, November 7, 2008 8:54 PM
.:California, Here I (do not) Come!:.

So I'm a little late on posting about this, but obviously, Proposition 8 passed in California, which means a state-constitutional amendment will be made to ban same sex marriages. For those of you that keep up on my blog, you might remember me saying that Taylor and I would be taking a trip to Cali if it did not pass. I'm sure I don't need to say that we will not be taking that trip now, and I will not be wearing this dress (not that I really was anyways):


But, we aren't giving up. We are going to spend the next 6 - 12 months figuring out all the places across the world that we could legally get married, and we will plan an entire vacation around it. I think it's ridiculous that we have to travel across the world just to be married, but hey, it's worth it. We love each other more than anything and will do whatever we can to get what we want out of this relationship and have the same things that heterosexual couples can have.

I hate to go from talking about gay marriage to talking about my mom, but I think it would have been awkward to start with her and move on to gay marriage.

Anyways, everything is great between her and I. We've been spending the last few weeks catching up, talking about everything that has happened in the last 9 years. I really was sad that I couldn't tell her the things a mother would want to hear from her 27 year old daughter, like finishing college, getting a great job, finding the perfect man, falling in love, getting married, having kids, owning a beautiful house and so on and so forth. I felt like she wasn't going to be proud of me. Parent's pride is something every child wants to feel. But she said she was proud of what I've done with my life. It made me feel good, but I know there is a part of her deep down inside that wishes things were different. We don't have time to dwell on those feelings, though. We have very little time, and we've vowed to make the best of it.

The part that makes me the happiest is seeing her and my father get along with Taylor. The other day, my dad and Taylor even went out to dinner together. It was so nice to see him ask her out like that. I think he genuinely cares for her and wants to remain part of our lives, even after my mom passes. I hope so. I really would enjoy having him around more often.

So that is all for now. I promise (for real this time) that I am going to get back to daily updates on this thing. I have been seriously slacking lately. Work has been so busy though. We're in the process of opening our first out of state branch in Michigan, and there is a very good chance I will be moving there for a managerial position in the art department. Because of that, Taylor and I have put off looking for apartments around here. I was so scared that she wasn't going to want to make the move with me if it comes down to it, but she assured me that she would not let me go alone and wherever I go, she will be right there with me. I love her.

I love you guys too!

<3 Sarah <3
...

10 french kisses:.
Sunday, November 2, 2008 5:55 PM
.:Old Friend, They Told Me You Were Dead:.

Sorry! I'm usually much more diligent about updating this baby, but lately I've just been really busy, dividing my time between Taylor, Rachel, and mom and dad.

It can be pretty stressful when things are thrown at you when you aren't quite expecting it. I'm not upset about mom and dad coming back in my life out of the blue. In fact, I'm very happy about it, but things like that can throw you off because there is no warning. In this case, there could have been some warning if my stupid step-brother told me ahead of time, but I forgive him. He was just being faithful to our parents, which is respectable.

So I guess I should update you guys on these things. We'll start with my mommy.

It's getting rough for her, and it really shows. I can't imagine what it would be like to know when and how you are going to die, especially when "when" is in less than 3 months, and "how" is very painful cancer. I meant to update you guys about the cancer, as well, but forgot. It's stomach cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes and other areas near the uterus and kidneys. The stomach cancer was removed, but the rest that has spread is inoperable, the doctors say. She did chemo for a while, but her odds were so low that she opted to just cut the treatment short.

I hate it, but I'm amazed at the same time, by how she has accepted what is going to happen. She's accepted she is going to die, and she's at peace with it. I just wonder if inside, she really feels that way, or if she's putting on a show for our sake. I know the pain is getting to her though. She's on some heavy duty painkillers, but it's just not cutting it, really. The doctors say she might be able to live through Christmas, but there's still a chance she won't make it that far. And if she does make it to Christmas, it won't be too long after. They just aren't sure, which is understandable. They're good at pinpointing times, but they can't be exact to the day.

As for Rachel, her asshole husband finally called. He wants a divorce. I really hate him. He could have been a man about it and told her to her face, but I guess it was just easier to run out and call days later. He says he has a new girl and they are going to get married. I didn't believe it at first, but Rachel has since talked to his sister and says that the girl is like 19 or 20 years old. It's ridiculous. He mailed the divorce papers to my house for her, since she's been staying here.

I predict a long, drawn out divorce settlement case for these two. They have a lot of shit that has to be split up. It's just more stress on Rachel that I wish she didn't have to deal with.

Taylor and I are doing good, as always. She's still the love of my life. We've been looking at apartments to move in to. We've found some that are really nice. There's this one that is just absolutely gorgeous. It's so spacious and has a beautiful view from this large picture window in the living room. Hardwood floors. White walls. I'll have to take some pictures if we go see it again. You guys would love it.

So that's all for now I guess. I know this is probably one of the most boring posts I've ever posted, but I promise to get interesting again. Things have just been so hectic in the life of Sarah. I'll try to post again later tonight. I do have some interesting things to talk to you guys about.

Much love you all!

<3 Sarah <3
...

3 french kisses:.