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Monday, October 20, 2008 6:27 PM
.:Existentialism On Monday Night:.

So I'm in Chicago, with Taylor, and just got back from the meeting I had to attend. It went well, but I won't know the final results for a few more days. I think we did quite well presenting the material, so hopefully it wins them over. We ended up taking a train to Chicago with my boss. It was a little awkward for a while, because Taylor and my boss have never met before, and it was the first time he had actually seen me with another girl, despite knowing I date girls. He was really cool about it though, and him and Taylor hit it off quite well, so that was good.

Sorry I haven't posted in a couple days. I haven't had much to talk about. I did, however, do A LOT of thinking. Nothing huge, but as the title of this post suggests, it was a lot of existential, "Why am I here?" crap. Everyone goes through this though process many times in their life, I'm sure.

I came to the usual conclusions: we are alone in the world, and death is the only thing we can be certain of. From the outside looking in, it seems like a sad conclusion, but really, it's not.

We are alone, and the only thing we have to worry about in life is ourself, unless we choose to take on other responsibilities. By responsibilities, I don't mean things like work or school, but instead, other people. We only need to worry about the people we choose to worry about. We are obligated to no one else. We are not responsible for the happiness of others. Our life is in our control just as much as their life is in their control.

I'm not saying we shouldn't worry about others. Of course, care about the people you love, and care about the people in the world who can't have the things we are fortunate enough to have (consistent supply of food, water, shelter, etc.), but don't let other people intrude on your life and demand your attention without making sure you are happy first.

Death being the only thing we can count on is not a bleak conclusion either. Yes, we will all die one day. Don't spend time worrying about that, and don't waste your life, rushing through the days until one day 20 years from now, you suddenly realize 20 years have passed and you missed out on a whole lot. Treat every day as if it were a gift; as if it were your last. It might just be your last. The point is, you never know.

In a way, death is the gift given to us as a reminder that our lives our valuable, and one day, we won't have it anymore. Everything will be gone. Cherish what you have, fight for what you want, and never let go of the things that mean everything to you. Hold on to them until the shattered glass of everything precious in life cuts into your bleeding palms.

One day it will be over, but it's not over yet. Don't forget that, and enjoy every minute given to you.

<3 Sarah <3
...

2 french kisses:.