Have any of you noticed that when you stay up later than you normally do, that you start thinking a lot? I'm sure you've all noticed that, but the weird thing for me is that I start thinking like "what if...," then run over different events and wonder what it would have been like if I had done something differently or something else happened that changed the outcome.
Like, for example, what if I didn't call the police on that guy who hit his wife? Would he have beat her harder? Killed her, even?
Or, what if I did drive the 25 miles to the tattoo shop? What if I got in a car accident on the way there? Or what if I would have ran in to my mom and we started talking again?
It's so crazy to think how different your life could be if you had made a single, tiny, seemingly insignificant choice differently. Like choosing to wear flip-flops instead of heels. The heels could have broke, breaking your ankle, but in the hospital you meet the man/woman of your dreams. It actually freaks me out to think how different my life could be right now. It also makes me wonder if there are like an infinite number of parallel universes, where in each universe you did make a different choice, and each universe represents a different life you could have been living. I can't even comprehend something like that, but physicists and other scientists think it actually might be a real concept that does exist somewhere.
Have you ever thought about what's outside the universe? Yes, outside. I know, the universe is infinite, but at the same time, science says it's a giant bubble, and quite possibly floating in a sea of other bubble universes (possibly the universes with our alternate lives!!!) This is all theory, of course, but they say there is a good chance it's true. But think about this (it may be hard to comprehend): they say that there is NOTHING outside of the universe. But, saying NOTHING implies that there is still SOMETHING there. There is actually less than nothing.
To say it differently, there is an outside of our universe, but there isn't at the same time. Say you made it to the edge of our bubble universe and you could rip open the wall, you wouldn't be able to walk through the hole. There wouldn't be anything there to stop you, yet you still couldn't step out because there is nothing to step in to. There is no empty space, but there is nothing else either. Crazy, huh?
What's even more confusing is that there is no wall you could rip open because the universe is infinite, yet it's still a bubble in a sea of other bubbles!!! It's so crazy, that our human brains are actually incapable of comprehending all this. It's a proven fact that we just can't fully understand concepts like this. It blows my mind!
Have you ever thought about where we go after we die? It's scary to think that the only way we can find out is to die. I try not to get my hopes up, but that would be so cool if we did live multiple lives. I hope I come back as someone rich, powerful, and gorgeous. I have to be a woman still. No men for me. The fucked up part is, we won't know that we have come back. We could have had a billion lives before the one we live right now, but there is no way to know, so really, there is no comfort in believing in reincarnation. Death is still scary because there is still a chance we will be so disappointed if nothing happens at all.
I've thought about heaven and hell, too. My idea of what heaven and hell are? Heaven would be a place you go where you get to do your favorite things at your favorite places with your favorite people for all eternity. Hell would be the exact opposite. For me, heaven would be dancing at a dark club with Taylor. Hell would be having to do threesomes with my bi-sexual ex-girlfriend Tina and her disgusting boyfriends, except her boyfriend would be fucking me (gross! lol) for all eternity in my other ex-girlfriend, Allison's apartment as she parades a whole line of other women she was cheating on me with past me, and my mom and dad would be there telling me how much they hate me. THAT would be hell.
I'm starting to scare myself thinking about all this. I'm taking some Xanax and going to sleep. Goodnight, my loves.
<3 Sarah <3
2 french kisses:.