After contemplating the thought for a few hours, I bit the bullet and called my mom. Big mistake. I had convinced myself she would talk to me based on the fact that it has been 8 years since we last spoke to each other. I figured "she's my mom, she'll want to talk to me." Oh God, was I wrong. This is how the conversation went...

Sarah: Mom?

Mom: Sarah?

Sarah: How are you?

Mom: Don't ever call me again *hangs up*

I don't know what to do. I am hysterical. I can barely type right now because I can't see through the flood of tears in my eyes. How can someones mother hate their own daughter so much? It doesn't make sense. Why can't she at least talk to me for a minute and pretend she loves me? Now I'm lying on my couch with a 5th of vodka on the floor next to me. The only thing I want in this world right now is either for my mom to love me again or for me to be really drunk. It doesn't look like I can have the first, so I'm stuck with being drunk.

I don't even want to be alive right now. I need someone to hold me.

<3 Sarah <3 ...
4 french kisses:.